The third (or are we on fourth by now? *shrugs* No matter.) rule of shopping is:

No matter how frustrating your days has been, do not swear at your salesgirl. If you decide to ignore this rule, do not take offense or be surprised when a manager nearby threatens to "come over the counter to teach you some manners". When you call my salesgirl a bitch because she requests to see your license since your credit card has no signature on the back, you are not only showing your utterly remarkable ignorance, but you are likely to piss me and my staff off. Just don't do it.

Rule number 4?5? is to please not shop drunk. No matter how much you hate shopping, drinking and shopping just to not mix. Especially when you are a slobbering mess that asks, "Do you have fucking pajamas? I need fucking pajamas." Or when you proceed to offer up further, and needless to say, unneccesary comments, such as, "Actually I prefer when she is sleeping naked next to me, but she has other thoughts on that." If you need to be a dunken shopper, please be smart and bring a designated sober shopper with you.

That is all. Safe shopping and as always, make good choices!

Feelin': exanimate